Five Long Years...
Posted by Maria Persaud on Wednesday, December 13, 2017
Hi Daddy,
It's been five years to date from when we heard that you were no longer with us. Even sitting here and writing this I am still left wondering what happened to you in your final hours. All of these images and my imagination running wild I will never be able to have any closure of what happened. Every night I thank you for always being there and guiding me through my most difficult moment but sometimes it gets overwhelming. I try not to get too emotional but in the end I walk around being angry and upset at the world. This year I want to focus on things that you love and memories that were created. Your daughter and mommy beat me to the memorial. I hope you see that you still live in our hearts and we're always thinking of you. In the picture, I remember you liking to play dominoes, cricket, driving, and listening to Indian oldies. I don't think that you like fishing but I will always remember you sitting under the tree or sitting and watching us fishing. I remember that one time when, I believe mommy caught an eel and when she pulled on the fishing pole, somehow the fish line and the eel got wrapped around your ankle and you were so nervous and you tried to run away. The other time was when you were sitting under the tree and there was a wasp nest. Someone pulled the fishing rod and it hit the nest and the wasp was flying towards you and you ran away fanning it away. You almost fell into the trench. I also enjoy the moments when you would tell us stories about your driving in the younger days and how you were able to get away from the police even though they had taken away the keys. On the day of your farewell you elder brother spoke about that moment too. Also after every trip to the airport you would come home and listen to your "Lata and Mukesh" tapes and sometimes Babla and Kanchan too. I know that you played dominoes too but I only remember your playing it when you were over by your brother's house. And cricket, I think that was one of your favorites, you told me about Chanderpaul (I probably spelled that wrong) but I remember when we went back to visit you, you would always have on the TV. Daddy I want to say that I wish that I was able to do much more, but then I wonder, would it have made a difference. I believe that you felt you had lost everything after you had asked me to sponsor you but I told you that I couldn't. This is something that I will live with for the rest of my life because I will never know if it would have made a difference. We always regret the moments we didn't risk. Although life was difficult for us somehow we managed to be who we are today thanks to the upbringing you and mommy provided us. I now believe the phrase that "life changes in a blink" because I can't believe that it has been five years. I remember everything so clearly of going back to Guyana in 2012. I wish it was under difference circumstances. Until we meet again, love always and forever....
It's been five years to date from when we heard that you were no longer with us. Even sitting here and writing this I am still left wondering what happened to you in your final hours. All of these images and my imagination running wild I will never be able to have any closure of what happened. Every night I thank you for always being there and guiding me through my most difficult moment but sometimes it gets overwhelming. I try not to get too emotional but in the end I walk around being angry and upset at the world. This year I want to focus on things that you love and memories that were created. Your daughter and mommy beat me to the memorial. I hope you see that you still live in our hearts and we're always thinking of you. In the picture, I remember you liking to play dominoes, cricket, driving, and listening to Indian oldies. I don't think that you like fishing but I will always remember you sitting under the tree or sitting and watching us fishing. I remember that one time when, I believe mommy caught an eel and when she pulled on the fishing pole, somehow the fish line and the eel got wrapped around your ankle and you were so nervous and you tried to run away. The other time was when you were sitting under the tree and there was a wasp nest. Someone pulled the fishing rod and it hit the nest and the wasp was flying towards you and you ran away fanning it away. You almost fell into the trench. I also enjoy the moments when you would tell us stories about your driving in the younger days and how you were able to get away from the police even though they had taken away the keys. On the day of your farewell you elder brother spoke about that moment too. Also after every trip to the airport you would come home and listen to your "Lata and Mukesh" tapes and sometimes Babla and Kanchan too. I know that you played dominoes too but I only remember your playing it when you were over by your brother's house. And cricket, I think that was one of your favorites, you told me about Chanderpaul (I probably spelled that wrong) but I remember when we went back to visit you, you would always have on the TV. Daddy I want to say that I wish that I was able to do much more, but then I wonder, would it have made a difference. I believe that you felt you had lost everything after you had asked me to sponsor you but I told you that I couldn't. This is something that I will live with for the rest of my life because I will never know if it would have made a difference. We always regret the moments we didn't risk. Although life was difficult for us somehow we managed to be who we are today thanks to the upbringing you and mommy provided us. I now believe the phrase that "life changes in a blink" because I can't believe that it has been five years. I remember everything so clearly of going back to Guyana in 2012. I wish it was under difference circumstances. Until we meet again, love always and forever....
Tags: five years dominoes cricket fishing driving oldies wishes
